if i was a christian, i’d say this was a sign from God. i think it was fate. early in the morning i sat on a bench in Vondelpark when this homeless guy came up to me. we smoked together and shared a beer (like, this was literally the only thing he had, just this one can of beer and he said “you share your joint with me, i share my beer with you.” i love that.) and he said he was from czech republic and i couldn’t understand most of what he said because of his thick accent. he had the same eye color as me. he reminded me of pieces of myself. sometimes, he looked like utter madness. from all i can remember we talked about different citys we’ve been to and skateboarding and the fucked up economy and he said that Amsterdam is a nice place to just be and i agreed and i asked him about what he’s doing all day and he said just walking around and talking to people. he has no sleeping bag. he says it is good to have an occupation. he got beaten up and thrown out of a train once when he was travelling just with a guitar. the following conversation i will never forget. his words changed me, they hit me to the core.
we are escaping
we are on the road.
i’ll make sure to remember that
i won’t get lost.
we agreed to meet up like two hours later at the same spot, but i fell asleep again and woke up too late and thought that this was also a sign. it was meant to be this way, and his words will linger in the back of my mind for a long time.
they’re playing jean michel jarre at the coffeeshop. there’s a massive TV in front of me, national geographic is on and there’s a documentation about snow monkeys. i’m drinking a latte macchiato with cinnamon and other teeth-ruining stuff on it, life is pretty good. i’m slowly coming to terms with long forgotten aspects of myself, such as that i’m an introvert and that this is a thing which will never change, and i should embrace that and not feel bad about it. being on the road is one of the few things in life i will love no matter what. a great opportunity to learn and appreciate. i’m most content walking on unknown paths. i love sitting in the cinema among strangers, hearing their foreign chatter and their laughter that sounds familar in all languages. my heart is in the foreign, my heart is on the road.
sitting near a canal in the city for hours. i didn’t listen to any music. i think it’s really nice to consciously listen to the sound of the city sometimes. it calms me. there is life and i am in it. it is a pure day.
i’m trying to find a new meaning in the word home, but the definition is hard to grasp and my hands are slippery. i tried making homes out of people once and the last time i did that it didn’t work out so now i’m kind of lost but in a good way i guess. it’s difficult being back in the place i know so well, i’m restless and edgy at times and this journey has probably changed me in more ways i’ll ever admit to myself.
be prepared for a few thoughts and notes from my journey. i’ll post them later.